I Need a few more … YEARS!!!

Happy Friday!! Well, the sun is shining, I have an all girls sleepover tonight with Zoe and Alexander is going 100 mph…. see picture ⇓⇓⇓⇓

17814241_10158485927350367_6435319721146265815_o

How does looking for ONE toy turn into this!!!!!!!!???? And, I was completely nuts to think he would clean it up …. they are all “too heavy”!!!  OF COURSE!!! …. Well, no one is fighting so it’s a good day!!!

Yesterday I registered Caleb for Kindergarten! {insert sobs and tears here}

How is it possible that he is already going to Kindergarten??

It’s kinda funny really, with each one I have talked about how excited I would be once they started school. I am pretty sure that I said that as a way to psych myself out once the day came… but it doesn’t work once the day is upon us.

I sat in the school library with a friend of mine. I watched them fill out their forms and then I watched as the daddy’s eyes started to tear up as he wrote how amazing his little girl was under the section “describe your child’s personality and strengths and weaknesses”. I think he probably needed another form.

Then while I was filling out the same section for Caleb, I felt the tears come up and then that sad feeling in the back of my throat that makes it hard to breathe. I am thinking to myself, “keep it together, you have done this before, don’t cry, don’t cry….”

Caleb has become so independent since starting Preschool last August and I am so proud of him. As he walked off with the Kindergarten teachers and the other soon to be Kindergarteners, it dawned on me that I would be in that same place next year with my baby… my last and then, that’s when I had to choke back the tears. Alex kept asking when Caleb was coming back and I knew then, he was going to be completely lost without his sidekick in August.

I get asked all the time what I am going to do when they are all in school and I usually say “lay around the house and do NOTHING  for the first week” but honestly, that is probably not going to happen.

I miss my babies being little. When Braxton started school, I literally stalked him all day and cried BIG tears when he walked in and I was in the carline like an hour early!!!  When Zoe started school, I worried about her, wrote her room number on her right hand with a BIG heart and her lunch line on the other hand. My separation anxiety was a little better with her, mostly because she is so independent and rarely accepts help with anything.

But, I will probably be in prayer at the church all day when I drop Cabby off for his first day…. mostly because I am the “ultimate helicopter mom” when it comes to him. Who will keep him in his “safety bubble”??? Honestly, I will probably stalk him too. And for now we will not talk about Alex because on that day I will probably need to be committed to a special kind of hospital 🙂 .

Being a mama is the most bittersweet job in the world… you pray for them to grow up healthy and smart and independent and then one day you blink and they are 10 and fixing their own food and making straight A’s and you are thinking “when did you grow up”!!  I am a mess now!!!! I will be a puddle of goo when they are all teenagers!!! If you need me I will be looking through old pictures, eating a tub of frosting, crying over my babies not being babies anymore!!!!

blog signature

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s