WeLcOmE to the NuT HoUsE

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Many moons ago when I first got married to the barber my first job was on a Geriatric Psych Floor. There, I was a Nurses Assistant. It was my very first job and I had NO idea what I was getting into. I just knew that I was ready for adventure and I needed a job. There I met amazing nurses and nurse techs that taught me a thing or 2 about life and, though I didn’t realize it then, a thing or two about motherhood.

The person that said “nothing prepares you for motherhood” never spent 5, 12 hour nights in a row on a psych floor.

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Working there I learned to stay awake all night long.
Being a mom, I learned that sleep isn’t really as necessary as they claim it to be.

In Psych I learned that bed alarms are the most annoying thing in the world and that no one stays in the bed when they are supposed to.
As a mama, NO ONE STAYS IN THEIR OWN BED. EVER!!!!!

In psych I learned to deal with patients who whined about EVERYTHING.
As a mama, kids whine about EVERYTHING!!!!

Working psych, I have had patients use the bathroom in inappropriate places … i.e. the corner in the hall.
Being a mom, I have had children use the bathroom in inappropriate places… i.e. the front yard or in the middle of a crowded park.

Working psych, I have had patients lose there temper and throw things across the room.
Being a mama, I have had children throw things across the room {today in fact}

Working psych, you learn to properly restrain out of control patients.
Being a mama, you restrain them often, usually in the car, a playpen, with “baby gates” or you bribe them… what ever works!

Working psych you learn sneaky ways to get a patient to take all there medicine.
Being a mama, you use those skills learned to the best of your ability.

Working psych, I have had patients walk down the hallway missing clothing.
Being a mama, when you ask them where there clothes are, they reply “it’s underpants day!” to which you reply “alrighty then!”

On a psych floor, you learn to always have your guard up.
As a mama, they rarely fool me.

On a psych floor, patients yell obscenities at you and call you names you may not like.
As a mama, “poop face” is a term of endearment from one brother to the next and you learn to go with it.

Working psych, I heard some of the best stories, some made up, some real.
As a mama, those stories make the best bed time stories.

Working psych, I had patients that made my day.
Being a mama, they make my day everyday.

And lets not forget those wonderful first aid skills we had to learn, like CPR and the Heimlich maneuver {which by the way I have had to use 3 times}.  How many mama’s can say they know that.

So you “Pinterest mama’s” can have your pies and cookies and crafts. I can get my kids to take there medicine and when I get funny looks at a store because one of my kids have their underwear on the outside of their pants, I know how to go with it. Thank you, to my Psych floor experience.

Later on, I went to work OB with another amazing group of ladies and I learned so much there. I learned patience and I learned how to turn a room over quickly. I learned how to keep my cool when the going got tough and I learned not to spazz out when things got a little crazy. I learned that “family” goes much much deeper than blood because to this day, I have an amazing family of friends that taught me everything I needed to know about being a mama before I was a mama.

From my nut house to yours… toodles.

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